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Ok, just so that you know, my past entry is no longer valid… but the dream of owning a landed property is still way up my list. It’s just that we have to search for a new dream home or wait for it to become more affordable.. Hey, Malaysia’s Property showcase is on this week. So will be hopping over there for sure.

New Zealand dreams? Yep.. I’ve attended the scholarship interview. Somewhat unexpected.. I didn’t think I’d be summoned to the interview so soon. But it was all my doing.. somehow..  So the interview went rather well.. my perspective at least.  Friendly panel, easy-peasy questions, just smooth.. Too bad I didn’t have my thesis proposal ready in time for the interview. But I had a good enough excuse. I mean who could very well have prepared a proposal in less than 3 days, right?? I still have not found a fantastic topic for my research. I’m thinking issues on gender, communication or should it be on child language development or something related to EQ, SQ.. I am still undecided. But time is on my side.. Imagine, come September 2009, we’ll be living, breathing the air in New Zealand! Now that’s exciting!!

Tags: Plans // 5 Comments »

WE’re really getting there. We are currently in the process of owning our ideal, affordable, dream home. This is very exciting news for us both!!

This weekend’s been pretty good one except for the splitting headache I had after waking up from our unplanned afternoon nap. Man, that was nasty.. Especially when the pain hit hard when we were on the way out to shop! All better now.. A dose of subscribed medicine was all it took.

I’m still sticking to my ‘total make over budget’. So far so good. Reading about ESQ helps. It’s taught me how to retain and develop desirable traits. It looks like I’m making progress in the personal finance area. Home ownership is next on my list (although I’ve already bought a home, I’m referring to owning our ideal dream home - and that is within grasp).

Yesterday, watched ‘It’s a Boy and Girl Thing’ or something like that. Hilarious romantic comedy! It’s such a relief being able to laugh like that.

Got work tomorrow. Things are definitely going well at work. I’m thankful for that. Ditto for things at home

Man, i’m writing rubbush..am seriously thinking of becoming anonymous in the blogosphere. i have this thing about people knowing all about me. and to think that i used to want to become famous and popular.. harhahrhar.. now it all don’t matter. what matter’s is that i have a family, a good job (for now) and that we’re all happy.

gnite!

Tags: Personal // 1 Comment »

I am back to reading novels… I do that when I want to escape into a world of fantasy. A world where the fictionous characters are a part of me. It’s alot like watching a movie except I get to choose how I want my characters to appear in my mind. To drown myself in their adventures, feel their happiness.. to escape..

Some days I feel like going into anonymity. I just want to write and not be known. Maybe I should start a new secret blog. I have alot on my mind. Many of which I can’t bear to share here. Doing so would be violating my own privacy. It would be rather silly too. I guess I should just write it on paper then burn it for my own satisfaction of having written.

It saddens me that I can tell no one…

I have a few chapters to go before I complete Paulo Coelho’s ‘The Zahir’…

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For those who have been wondering whether I’ve disappeared of the surface of this Earth, fret not. I’ve been very busy. Hubby’s been in hospital for tonsil removal and is now home on 2 week long medical leave which started the previous Tuesday. Despite that, we managed to sneak him away to watch his fave You Tube-popular-now-recording-artist, Marie Digby perform live (free) in One Utama. She’s one bright talent really with a rather sad past (It’s amazing how people who’d gone through alot of hardship come out of it more successful than others. It’s like there’s this force of nature just willing for them to make it big).

This week is a rather critical one for me. For one, my PTK exams are coming up and I could barely focus what with all the going-ons at work (and at home - this whole commitment thing is really getting to me). Secondly, T. Harv Eker’s Internet Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar (which I have a ticket) will be on this week however, babysitting arrangements not looking too good.

Sigh.. I guess this teaches me a good lesson - “Always put into consideration the opinion and schedule of other parties that may be involved directly or indirectly with your own plans.”

Now things are looking abit hazy. I’ve already bought the RM400++ ticket but may not be able to go. Now I have to find someone who’s willing to buy the ticket from me or might be forced to give it away for fr**. Otherwise, I could always still attend the seminar but not wholly. I may be forced to whisk back and forth from home - even the thoughts of doing this draws strength outta me..

I am thankful though that at least I have Thursday and Friday off and a colleague has compromised to takeover my minute-taking-duties at a rather important weekly meeting. Thank you Safuwan.

Monday, Tuesday - PTK!! Argghh.. To think that I used to love taking exams (back during my student days..)!!

P.S. Yus, I was going to update yesterday really. But as I was sitting in front of my PC, I felt a slight swaying (twice). I though it was just me feeling tired and dizzy from all the exertion. I had asked my hubby whether he’d felt the tremor but he confirmed that it was just me and whisk me off to bed. Not surprisingly I found out this morning that the tremor was real and was felt by many others especially in the Damansara areas. So note to me: trust your own instincts! hehehe..

Tags: Plans // 4 Comments »

It’s funny how when my son’s awake I can think of a million things to do when he’s asleep. However, when he’s asleep I’m suddenly bored out of my mind.. is it that or do I just not know what to do first? I washed the dishes just now and have tidied the kitchen. I had my early dinner while checking out my facebook account - very addictive. Now I’m thinking, I should do some revision for the upcoming PTK exams (for government servants to be promoted). But I just feel a bit distracted. Firstly, the noise of the construction below our apartment is a tad deafening. Secondly, it’s late in the evening, a perfect moment for a stroll in the park. But I am home with a sleeping son and hubby’s at work.

But some time alone is good. I need to do alot of thinking. Need to use up more brain cells. I’ve been forgetting keys and other important stuff the past few days. So not me. Just distracted I guess. I admire people who are always on the go and ever so high spirited. I’ve reached some sort of wall and am finding it requires all my strength to climb through.

These days I feel I have alot of bitter medicine to swallow. Medicine that I’m not so sure will do me much good. Still I swallow it hole and feel myself aching even more. No, I’m not complaining. Life’s throwing me a curve ball and I’m taking it good. God won’t test you with anything you can’t take. He loves you for sure.

At work and at home, things sure could be better. I long for brighter days..

I’m sorry if this is not a ’success’ post. Yes, my dotcom site is meant to be some sort of success journal. But the journey to success is often not a straight path without obstacles. It’s how we manage to overcome barriers that makes us a stronger and more resilient person.

I sometimes wish I could really talk to someone who is unbiased. Someone who’d just listen with understanding. Sometimes I think I’ve found that person but after a few thoughts I often change my mind. When I was studying in one exclusive boarding school - back in those young old days, I used to surrender myself to counseling sessions. Why, because it felt good to talk to someone who wasn’t your age (teenage) but still understood what you were going through.

These days, as adults we have reservations. Counseling sessions are thought to only be for those who are problematic. You don’t want to be labeled as such so you avoid any sessions. Maybe, that’s one reason why I want to expand my knowledge in the field of psychology. To better understand myself as well as others and how we respond to situations as well as how to make things better.

Better, better, better. I want to be a better person today than I was yesterday and an even better person tomorrow.

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Reading Dave Ramsey’s ‘Total Money Makeover’has got me thinking to readjust my financial goals. Dave puts his babysteps in such a logical and systematic way that I would have to totally be in agreement with him. I’ve decided, that if I want to achieve my goals of becoming financially free, I would have to make some radical changes. Let’s go through the first few baby steps:

 Baby Step 1: Put aside $1000 in liquidated form as emergency fund. - Considered done!

Baby Step 2: Debt snowball. Do this by first listing down all your debts (except home loan)from least to most. Then pay minimum on all (get current with your payments) but pay max on the first debt on your list (the one with least amount). According to Dave, this helps get the momentum going as well as psyches you up as you get to cross out the little debts faster then you would the big ones. After paying off the first debt, transfer what you would be paying on the first to the second (while still adding the minimum payment on the second to total with the first) and so on. - This idea has gotten me very excited. It makes so much sense too! By the time you get to the bottom of the list, you’d have a snowball of extra funds!! I only have 3 outstanding debts on mine. The first one I’ll be able to pay off this month. The second and third by the next!!

Baby Step 3: Put aside 3-6 months worth of income (or expenses if you can live on much less than your income) for the real emergency funding  - tough one… but will be able to get 3 months for a start.

Baby Step 4: Put aside 15% of your total gross income for retirement fund - when will I reach step 4?

Now, the thing is I have another goal in mind which I have to take into account. The goal of buying our ‘home on the ground’ this coming June. Dave says baby step 3(b) is save for home downpayment - after having at least 3 months income saved. To make way for that, I am thinking a few sacrifices have to be made. Possibly, in terms of this Internet business. It’s not that I don’t have faith in it anymore. Dave describes it in form of a river being clogged by logs (logs that you put afloat on the river to get to another destination, say the wood processing area down the river). You can’t get the logs through when too many logs are downstream and get tangled with each other. To unclog, you’d have to blast some logs up even though it means losing money on blasted logs just to get the flow going.

I don’t know whether you got that. But that’s what I’m gonna have to do. Sacrifice now for the better of tomorrow. So by next year, you may or may not see me on this current site. I may revert to a free blog if I still feel like blogging (but I love writing!!). By next month, I may or may not still be with Success University. I’m still trying to decide.

I love the blogosphere still. All the interesting, quality and new infos that I can get. But there are ofcourse other ways for me to contribute back. I shall be thinking about that.

Meanwhile, I’m sticking to reevaluating my finance. I have a nearly zero balance budget this month!! - yay!! Which means I’ll be cutting up one of my credit card by next month and paying by cash or debit card. I’ll only spend on the funds available and not borrow to spend! I absolutely love that!!

Goals I still want to pursue:

1. Buy new home this June - sell old.

2. Further my masters degree in psychology in New Zealand (?)!!

3. Extra income? - book project

Tags: Financial Management // 8 Comments »

I have been wanting to do this for awhile. My hubby’s an aspiring photographer by the name of Rashidi Mohamed Ramli. He’s been teaching me a bit about photography lately. So far I can do the panning technique ;). But for today, allow me to showcase his talents first! Feel free to comment !!

PNB Ilham Resort. View from our Apartment that we stayed during my course week.

“take me by the hand!”

3 in a row..

drip!

who’s that girl?

postcard perfect!

Alright! That’ll be all for today. Any takes? Taking Orders NOW!!

Tags: Picture Perfect // 2 Comments »

I’m back again after a short hiatus. Today I feel like blogging. Just now while driving home from work my mind was dictating the words to myself as if on autopilot. I don’t remember all that was dictated. But I do know that I want to tell you about the pursuit of happiness.

Last night, I’d watched ‘the Pursuit of Happyness‘ starring Will Smith and son, Jaden Smith. I didn’t have a box of tissue handy throughout the movie, so I ended up using my sleeves during those moments of intense deep emotions. The story based on real life had touched me greatly. Even as a woman, I could feel for Will’s character. The pain of having to sacrifice for your loved ones.. I understood that very much. I also understand how frustrated his wife (character) must have felt at her husband’s lack of income and ability to bring back the dough.

My husband watched the movie and he could see himself in Will’s character. My mom who lives a couple of miles away watched the same movie and she associated it with how absolutely hard it is to find a job.  We all watched the same movie but attached different emotions and situations to it. I find that to be rather amusing.

As for my pursuit of happiness… I have one to achieve this year..oh no.. actually more that one come to think of it. I have 3 goals to achieve in May and one in June 2008. My pursuit is also another someone’s pursuit. To think that someone’s happiness could actually depend on you is a heavy burden to carry. I hate to say I’ve become used to it because that wouldn’t be telling the whole truth. I guess it’d be fair to say that I feel rather uncomfortable. But at this moment in time, it’s a responsibility I must carry.

If someone’s happiness depends on you, could you actually make someone truly happy? If someone depended so much on you for his happiness what kind of person would he be? What kind of person would you be? Very unhappy or pretty much exhausted because you’d constantly have to check up on each other, one reporting and the other giving instructions as to what  would make him happy.

As much as I love psychology, these matters of the heart and mind leaves me pretty confused. Sometimes I don’t know what to expect or feel so in the end feel just plain numb. And that’s not too good a feeling. I am a positive person. I want to feel positive all the time. I want to only depend on myself for my own happiness. Why wait for someone else to make it happen for you when you can make it happen for yourself more than twice faster and make yourself more than twice the times happier.

I love me.. I care for me.. Allah the Al-mighty, protect me and my loved ones. It is only you Allah the all Merciful that I  can depend on..

Tags: Personal // 2 Comments »

Yesterday was my hubby’s birthday. I know I should have written this entry earlier but for whatsoever reason didn’t get around to it. I’ve just finished an important duty at work. It’s time to chill now. I really, really do want to update. Infact for the past few days I’ve written drafts but didn’t post it as I thought it was deemed inappropriate and abit outdated. Like this birthday post. I had wanted to splash out a birthday wish yesterday. But duty calls as a mother and wife and friend. I really don’t mind attending to people’s needs. But sometimes I just need time for me. Like right now. I know my son’s probably waiting for me at home. I know that I should be going back now. But because I feel the need to update this blog, I’m allocating a few minutes on it. Does it make me feel better to be doing this? I’m not so sure. My back hurts, that’s for sure..but I oooh I shouldn’t even be mentioning it!

Sigh.. on days like this, I wish someone could perform a positive NLP on me. I know, I’ll go home and ‘talk’ to my Creator about the events of these past few weeks. Oh, yes, I was asked about NLP. I’m not sure I have time to search the web for it’s correct definition. So I’ll stick to what I know and come to understand. From my own understanding. NLP is similar to practising positive affirmations but it’s done through visualisation. You list down exactly the goals that you want to achieve. Then you meditate on those thoughts, imagining yourself achieving them one by one. If you want to apply it on someone, I found that it is best done when the person is in REM (rapid eye movement - you can tell by the fluttering of the lids) stage of sleep, just before the person falls into deep sleep. Because that is the time when one is most receptive to info (again, from my own understanding). It is also found that you can get a person to answer any of your questions honestly (because their sub-con will speak) when in REM stage. Again, I invite experts out there to correct me if I’m wrong. As it is, I am still learning.

I shall be making this month the month is psychology. I have yet to decide on which uni I want to pursue my masters degree at. But I know for sure now that I want it to be in the field of psychology.

Tera for now!

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Ok, I admit, I have been putting off writing an entry. You must forgive me. The load at work is incredible. However, having attended an emotional management course, I am keeping my spirits up and still going strong. Over the past few days eversince I learned about communicating with the Supreme Powers, I have been able to find more peace within myself. I feel more relaxed and am able to keep up with the fast pace at work. Performing my daily prayers no longer feel like a ritual. It is becoming something that I look forward to. My chance to unload, rest my mind and display my gratitude to Allah. It is the time allocated for me to praise the Al-Mighty, ask Him for forgiveness, and to ask Him whatever good my heart desires. For it is He who listens and hears and answers your calls. I no longer recite prayers that are repetitive and memorised. I am now able to communicate with the Supreme Powers through my heart - all pure and sincere.

I am grateful for having been given the knowledge to practice this powerful form of communication. For if you cannot ‘talk’ to your Creator, you truly are at lost. He created you. He loves you and only wants the best for you. So you have to live by His rules. But He is also the most forgiving and the one who listens and grants wishes. Bring yourself closer to Him. He is the most worthy of your praise and the most deserving of your fear.

I shall enlighten my readers on NLP later as was requested by Fauzi. For now, I must return to the duties at hand.

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